I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
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