remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
