i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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