You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.