I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless