bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
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The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico