so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
