Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
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Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
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Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I want to fling myself into the sun
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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