Do vagina's smell?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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