): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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