I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
