We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
