im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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