Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
