Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
