im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
