quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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