Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize