Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
