We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
