Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
