Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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