That's intense
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
