he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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