That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
