The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
