brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
