Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
