I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
