So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
