Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
