break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize