If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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