The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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