i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Is her dick bigger than yours?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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