i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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