Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Found the puke drawer
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
