You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
