so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
