i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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