this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
