I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize