when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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