If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I think your dad took our porno
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
