glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
