Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
