All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
