i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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