U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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