last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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