thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
