someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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