Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
