fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
