Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
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Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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