Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
