man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
