wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
