And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
