just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
