Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
