I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
