Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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