All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
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Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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