So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
