My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
