Dignity is for republicans.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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