is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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