I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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